Sunday, January 03, 2010

Dear Saurik and iPhone-DevTeam: Stop Helping the Empire

Hello guys, it’s your Uncle Drunky. The Uncle you never knew you had, right? I’m pretty much a greybeard. Indulge a burned out old jailbreaker who’s (re)learning C/ObjC, okay?

Anywho, let’s cut to the chase: For the next firmware update to the iPhone & iPod Touch, Saurik’s sayin’ it’s gonna be brutal:

Anyone else find this calm before the storm somewhat unsettling? iPhone OS 3.1.2 came out /two months ago/. I’m expecting 3.2 to be brutal.8:46 AM Dec 5th, 2009 from web

Well, kids, there’s a reason for that, and it didn’t occur to me recently until I went to try and unbrick a client’s iPhone from the dreaded WSOD. And it has to do with Windows users, Microsoft, and escalation of a longtime pissing match with Apple.

As you know, because you never read this blog, I basically have it in for the slumdog software duo, Microsoft and Adobe. Basically both of those corps are run by MBA morons who have cloned & droid’d most of their development offshore. The founder(s) are long gone. They deserve none of our regard or lucre. At. All.

And, as you might know, both of these corps have it in for Apple (& Google), the last of the traditional tech companies. Where you may one day work, rebuilding the shambles that tech has become.

Adobe has been getting all uppity because Apple won’t allow them on the iPhone because they…. suck. Then they try to make an end-run around Apple by compiling Flash crApps on the iPhone via.. Windows. If you think there’s any love between Apple & Adobe now, read my last blog entry- oh hell here, just read this from the

To unnamed company 2 Like many people, I love you and I hate you. I love the products you make and I suppose I wish deep down, that you felt the same. Your arrogance has gotten you where you are today. But be careful, as many a great institution has let their arrogance be their downfall. Recognize who your allies are in this world, as you may one day need them. [From The Flash Blog » New Year’s messages from theFlashBlog]

Did you notice that iTunes on Windows is a steaming P.O.S.? There’s a reason for that. Mac users come FIRST. Apple looks after their users first and then their disingenuous partners after that.

So what does this mean to us jailbreakers, Drunky? Well I’ll tell you. You’re in the crossfire.. Apple knows that a good number of Jailbreakers-Devs migrate to become iPhone Devs. Toolchain to iPhone Public API, right?

At least you’re learning something and growing the platform, right? We all know that a number of Jailbreakers are in the AppStore kicking ass.

If Apple wanted to squish the Jailbreakers it would have happened. They still can, if we become a blatant liability. Remember that for later.

But what about Windows guys? Unfortunately, many of them have what I call the ‘Windows mentality’. Being mostly end users, they don’t pay for software, ask really stupid questions on Twitter, oh, and did I mention, like that little twat Crapulous, they pirate?  We also know that a number of shysters are in the AppStore submitting 900 crApps at a time, are switching from which platform. Bueller? Bueller?

Cydia and other stores pop up to counteract the actions of… twat enduser piracy that comes from… Windows.


A couple days ago I helped some chick with her bricked, white screen o’ death’d iPhone. Tho’ it was unlocked & jailbroken, she couldn’t tell me how her boyfriend even DID IT. “He just looked at Youtube and followed along.”

What. The. Fsck.

All the dev work, all the unread RTFM, outsourced to a Youtube clip. Just so some monkey could throw a switch. And you wonder why Saurik gets megabytes of dumb twats on the Twitter. And you guys don’t get donations for your efforts. It’s the user base you’re supporting. That you should stop supporting.


There’s a solution to this that will help Apple, the Jailbreak community, and iPhone Developers in general. And it’s this:

For firmware 3.2, I humbly suggest that all Windows-based Jailbreaks and Unlocks.. utterly.. cease. No help for a platform that’s not only detrimental to tech, but detrimental to the iPhone platform. Oh sure, have the source code out there, but don’t hand-hold the Windows guys. If you need an example of tough love, duly note that Apple basically told Adobe that they suck at programming. Hence no Flash on the iPhone, evar. And Adobe doing naught but whinging.

Windows devs, few as you are: If you’re po’ then Hackintosh your systems, earn some dosh, and then please give Uncle Steve his due. Anyway, get the fsck on XCode and go to town.

Seriously, when was the last time a Windoze user donated to you?

When was the last time pirate *.ipas showed up in your stats?

How did that loser jailbreak? Via Mac? Probably NOT.

Windows is the cheap shzt platform for those who don’t want to kick out for quality. These aren’t the users you want in the community. At. All.

Apple certainly does not want cheapskates who will circumvent their platform and then pirate apps. It was all fun and games until a significant percentage of iPhone-but-not-Mac-users showed up as jailbroken/unlocked or both in statistics. So what does Apple ‘want’?

Apple wants them to recognize their brand in a stock iPhone and switch. I theorize they want MacOS ‘spectrum’ users for the iPhone, this so-called iTablet, MacBooks, MBPs, you get the idea. And they want to use the mobile devices as a gateway to the desktop or… any other Apple device. Apple’s a hardware company, riiiight???

They also want up-and-coming devs who can make great apps for their AppStore. And they know the hacker contingent in the jailbreak community are part of the Mac/iPhone ecosystem.

But Windows users can’t or don’t dev for the iPhone. They are MOSTLY end users who become a burden on Saurik, the iPhone-Dev Team, and on Apple themselves. And you wonder why firmware 3.2 is gonna be “brutal.” Hmm.

Apple wants to bury Windows by getting those users to switch to the stock Mac OS spectrum + hardware.

Windows Jailbreakers are short circuiting that process. By allowing the iPhone to *easily integrate with Windows. Adobe’s in the mix as BFF to Microsoft. Hell, they may be acquired by MSFT, judging by all the lovefest fellation between MSFT and ADBE at this time, but I digress.

Apple has to secure their platform against crackers, trojans, *.ipa pirates and other end.user.shysters.

In short, Windoze users.

We should not be empowering these shysters, MSFT or ADBE when they’re in conflict with Apple. Unless we want to be lumped in with the same shyster groups. And squished.

That’s my piece.

Mentok out.


sgood1971 said...

Being a windows user who has little cash, high tech knowledge, and real life scruples I found this article offensive to say the least.

It is your theory that windows users are the majority of the pirates but you cite no actual data to back you up. I would assume that you are right but only in the fact that the user base for windows is so vast that you must be right.

Having said that, I do love the apple platform and would switch if I could afford to, but I have four children to raise.

Mentok said...

To start with, I'm just a guy. It's one man's opinion. I'm not going to put up charts to win you over or spin bogus data. Neither am I going to sugar coat my opinion.

My 'data' is my personal experience. I find that while 'Windows users' wouldn't be offended by a post like this one, pirates are. At least you're candid as to your reasoning.

My rebuttal in response to your reason is 'and that makes it right?'

Most iPhone & shareware developers are NOT the MAFIAA, BREIN, the BSA or big companies like MSFT or ADBE.

They're little guys like you and I, raising kids and trying to put food on the table. How low do they have to charge before you would pay? How would you feel if some yob stole from you? Here's a real world happened a few days ago example:

Sean Kovacs released his Google Voice iPhone app to the Cydia Store, and IMMEDIATELY some shyster posted it to a warez site and suddenly there were 200 new users but not paid over a $2 app. And this guy is a husband & father. He probably took 2-3 months to develop the App, in addition to the YEARS it took for him to learn C, ObjC, and Cocoatouch.

Why should he even continue to develop if that's the norm? Check if you do not believe me.

From my own experience dealing with Windows end users their first question is: "Can you fix my PC?" and the second one is "Can you install (software) on my PC?" meaning, exactly what you think it means.

Having it happen one time too many (basically the last client I helped), really ground my gears, and there you are.

You either have time or money. That's life.

If you have time, head to the library and check out some programming books. And see how hard it really is.