Friday, May 28, 2010

Gary Coleman RIP- World's Gonna Miss You, Arnold Jackson

This apocalypse tag is dedicated to the memory of Gary Coleman, who everyone remembers as 'Arnold Jackson' on Diff'rent Strokes. Gary made it to his 40s, and had the rocky life of most El Lay actors.

It's too bad he'll never evolve his 'Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Willis?' line into what the world needs today -- something more like-

'Da fuck you talkin' about (politician, CEO, BP spokesperson, MMS Gal, Rahm Emmanuel)?'

Believe me, it was beginning:

What really gets me is that despite all the 'experts' there on Insider that were there to douchetalk him down.. NOBODY picked up on that bigass vein on the side of his head and said, 'Maybe Gary needs to get to a doctor, like NOW.'

Nah, they were too busy douchebagging about 'how dangerous he was'. Because even the world needs to be afraid of a 4'8" black man. Gary didn't need that noise. Who would?

Shows you what droids these 'journalists' of the Insider really are.. and why Gary was fully justified in telling them to Bartz off. Wouldn't you?

So, alla you angry manchildren & womanchildren out there. Of whatever color.

Remember Gary Coleman well. You will be judged by the content of your character.

And the next time you see an Andersen Cooper Vanderbilt or Joy Behar off the handle.. and..

Be sure to tell them to Bartz off. In his memory. Or, where Gary was going-

'Da Fuck you Talkin' 'Bout, (asshole, Boomer, politician, lobbyist, BP, etc).'

-Drunky out.

"Diff'rent Strokes - The Complete First Season" (Leslie H. Martinson, Ellen Falcon, Dolores Ferraro, Lee Lochhead, Selig Frank)

Reading's Fundamental, Comments're Boring, Popcorn Tubs & the USCG

Since I'm getting tired of dumping my comments from other buh-logs that may be pruned, it's time to get Disqus'd:

Witness the top most comment, that doth not appear (anymore) in the Fake.Steve Blog. Guess Lyons doesn't like being embarassed. Pish.

Also, crib notin' to Tumblr. Just because:

I'd blog some moar, but I'm too busy polishing off the OILY BUTTERY TUB of popcorn that has British Petroleum's logo on it. Top kill = yeah right.

There's SO MUCH that's already blogged elsewhere. Like Vivek not Wadhwa but KUNDRA, and his lil' klepto family keepin' it REAL (over at

That, and Mumbai Don? Refuting what he usually takes as gospel about H1Bs?

My popcorn tub. The US Coast Guard. Something in common at last! Boggle poggle goes mah brain.

-Drunky out.

"Legacy of Ashes: The History of the CIA" (Tim Weiner)

"Family of Secrets: The Bush Dynasty, the Powerful Forces That Put It in the White House, and What Their Influence Means for America" (Russ Baker)

iPad, Xbox Turn Obama Into A 'Distraction'

[I posted this like 2 weeks ago.. So much for Bloggah]

Aw, Barry ain't showin' the love to tech-- according to a speech at Hampton College, to a buncha computer literate kids according to the H. R. Puffinstuff Puffy-po:

"You're coming of age in a 24/7 media environment that bombards us with all kinds of content and exposes us to all kinds of arguments, some of which don't always rank that high on the truth meter," he told the students. "And with iPods and iPads, and Xboxes and PlayStations -- none of which I know how to work -- information becomes a distraction, a diversion, a form of entertainment, rather than a tool of empowerment, rather than the means of emancipation. So all of this is not only putting pressure on you; it's putting new pressure on our country and on our democracy."

[From Obama: iPad, Xbox Turn Information Into A 'Distraction' (via Huffington Post]

Yeah Barry. We can't have the kids using information appliances with no bias, bypassing the lamescream media and diluting yer so-called message of DOPE. I mean, 'HOPE' of offshoring and jobless recovery.

We know that you just want us to give our iPhones, iPads and game consoles to India. All our game are belong to THEM.

"They recognized, as Frederick Douglass once put it, that 'education means emancipation.' They recognized that education is how America and its people might fulfill our promise," said Obama, the first black U.S. president.

[From Obama: iPad, Xbox Turn Information Into A 'Distraction']

And since we shouldn't be using iPads or other information appliances we should what? Whack down some more trees? And if I didn't know any better, I'd think Frederick Douglass was George Orwell. Stay classy, Barry. I gonna be yo' fan on da Facebook.

Wanna be a slave? Keep looking at TV and buying Rupert Murdoch's muckraking rags and boosting the lamescream media.

And believing that Barry is a leader and not Jimmy Carter 2.0. George tried this crap during his regime and where did it get him?

Now ask, yourself why Barry's pulling the same crapola. November can't come fast enough.

Drunky out.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Brian X Chen should Apologize to Apple for Writing this Tripe

Once again, Brian 'No I ain't Malcolm by a long shot' X Chen makes a dufus of himself. In a moment reminiscent of John Dowdell's classic 'How I want Apple to Talk' the TIRED clubkid gives the Adobe shill a run for his money:

Reasonable people can disagree over whether it was ethical for Gizmodo to purchase the lost iPhone prototype, but the police action — kicking down Jason Chen's door to seize his computers — was overboard. It was self-evidently a clumsy move: After damaging Chen's property, the police paused the investigation to study whether the journalists' Shield Law protected Chen.

The proper action would have been to issue a subpoena to get Chen to talk about the device first. Apple, which instigated the police action by filing a stolen property complaint, should publicly apologize to Chen (no relation to the author of this post) and reimburse him for the damages.

[From 5 Things Apple Must Do to Look Less Evil - ABC News]

No Chen, 'reasonable people' would know that the the proper thing to do was file a police report, and the D.A. did the rest. What I really want to know is how does the shield law (protection of sources) protect the journalist himself? When he goes on Youtube and blabs that he has a stolen iPhone? He already did his 'talking' there!

Waaaaay past ethics and into a criminal proceeding when your fellow Chensta paid $5K for a stolen property. But it seems that the surname 'Chen' can't be associated with 'attention to detail' let alone 'ethics' these days.

Or the fact that Gawker is not rushing to their employee's defense, yo' buddy the other more stupid Chenster has retained his OWN criminal attorney.

But on this both Gawker and you are mum.

The proper action (for you) would be to go back to what you're starting to FAIL on. Which is slamming Apple and giving us all a good laugh every time to spout this tripe. And it was SO BAD this time that WIRED spooled to to those clueless retards at ABC.

Drunky out.

[This seems to be the 'Foar Dummies' book that the Chensters need]

"Secrets Stolen, Fortunes Lost: Preventing Intellectual Property Theft and Economic Espionage in the 21st Century" (Christopher Burgess, Richard Power)

Friday, May 07, 2010

Sony, Losing their Touch: Re-invents a Clock Radio with Failbook

Sheesh, the Japanese goombas who run Sony are really losing it. I mean, is this the best they can come up with? A freaking clock radio? WITH FACEBOOK? Cue post-Apple-a-long time ago lame hipster-kinda music and break out the popcorn, kids. This is going to be a painful watch:

From what I hear, they're gonna price these at $199 each. Priced so that I go thru three of these plastic little cheapies pounding 'snooze' when some asshole 'superpokes' me at 3 am.

Seriously. Sony. The PSX Mafia. And this is the best they can come up with? Really??

Anyone who was on the team making this retard clock radio need to fall on their family swords old school Shogun style because this blows. According to David Pogue, this wasn't even designed in Japan, it was outsourced to pot-smoking monkeys in California. Seriously, California has enough of a smoke problem with Shantanu Narayen & his ilk.

Akio Morita must be spinning in his grave. No wonder Uncle Steve and other founders stick around. Look at the alternative.

-Drunky out.

[Seriously. Anjin-san would have never gone to a Japan this lame]

"James Clavell's Shogun" (Jerry London)

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Adobe: Desi Deeds, Done Dirt Cheap!

[UPDATE: Even Robert Reich, former Sec of Labor under slick Willy can't stand the stench of this, says 'Hands off Apple.' Heck, even the Brads call Bullshiat with 'How to Alienate a Fanbase.' ]

Big BIG surprise. Shantanu Narayen says, "let the customers decide" -- and then promptly goes to the US FTC to complain:

U.S. antitrust enforcers are considering an investigation of Apple Inc. following a complaint from Adobe Systems Inc., according to people familiar with the matter.

Adobe says Apple is stifling competition by barring developers from using Adobe’s products to create applications for iPhones and iPads, said the people who spoke on condition of anonymity because they aren’t authorized to discuss the case.

[Exec Summary courtesy Daring Fireball, originally Bloomberg]

Stifling competition? Oh Adopey CEO figurehead who knoweth not the Mac used to work for Apple (I know, WTF??), how can you say that, when so many UI Designers use Photoshop and Illustrator to do iPhone User Interface work? Where do all those pretty little icons come from? From Developer Tools for UI Designers that Adobe provides! You're on the iPhone & iPad in that way.

It's just your crapware little plugin and equally shitty what-you-think-is-an-IDE-but-isn't that are not up to snuff. That Apple justifiably turns down because you can't even reach the bar. As we've said before. Repeatedly. And no Mac user wants Flash on their iThings, after having to suffer through it on the Mac desktop. As we've said before. Repeatedly.

I mean seriously, you have so many OTHER platforms that you can ruin (eventually, if you ever ship) with Flash, Actionscript, and AIR (Adobe Integrated Craptime) in the mobile space:


Windows Mobile.

And, as you said, a man of your word (HAH!) "let the customers decide." First a dinner guest of President Obama & India, Inc at the Whitehouse, now a whiny tattle-tale to the FTC when "the customers have already decided."

Shantanu Narayen, for these and other Desi Deeds Done Dirt Cheap(sm), not only are you in the Hall of Monkeys, but you're nominated for Drunky's Desi Douchebag of the Millenium Award. This is gonna be pretty hard to top, even by 2099.

Me, I still see things differently and want to see the future in 2015.

-Drunky out.

PS. To Uncle Steve: Go go Apple Legal! Save the day! Keep that TRash off my Apple kit!

PPS. Sharp eyed readers point out this write-up of the Obama-India, Inc Lovefest here.

Monday, May 03, 2010

'Apple Is The New China'....? Mmkay, Adobe is 'teh New Suck'

So the while the negativity over Apple's success on the iDevices continues in blustery Business Insider, of course your Uncle Drunky has to weigh in. I do hate repeating myself, so go go copypasta!

There's another reason Steve Jobs doesn't want to be 'at the mercy of a 3rd party vendor'.. as politely as I can put it, Adobe has lost their technical mojo. Let me explain.

The iPhone and iPad use a very.. concise version of Mac OSX. It's very light, a lot that does not pertain to the hardware has been REMOVED and optimized. There's no web server there, no file sharing, no.. you get the idea. Programming for it requires you to learn MORE than just programming for the Mac (you have to learn about touch, GPS and these other new functions). You even have to learn a superset language called Cocoatouch!

It's a lot like riflery (ed: duh, meant gunnery). Rifles and cannons are big and simple. Pistols, while smaller require a level of complexity and are very unforgiving. Cannons and rifles may misfire. A pistol may blow off your hand. And compared to cannons, everyone seems to have a pistol. High adoption rate, at least in the US.

As almost every Mac user knows, Flash utterly blows. After 10 years of promises, IT STILL BLOWS. So now Adobe just up and wants to be on my iPhone? My iPad? And my parents, friends, and their friends are interested in the iPad...

So. Here we are. Adobe can't even get Flash right on the Mac. They've been promising full Flash on mobile devices for YEARS now. Based on that track record, and the insulting remarks from the CEO (it must be MacOSX that is the problem) I can only say two things:

THANK YOU to Steve Jobs for refusing to have snake oil on the iDevices, and SHAME ON YOU to Shantanu Narayen for not putting your money where your mouth is. Long ago, probably before the Macromedia acquisition, Adobe used to be just like Apple. Produce and THEN tell us, and we were always pleasantly surprised. Now they're all bluster with nothing to show for it other than abuse of the word 'ubiquity'.

Through offshoring, unwise M&A, and laying off the wrong folks Adobe has lost their technical depth. Or maybe they're just a Windows shop now. Either way, what we've seen is that they cannot produce on any other platform other than Windows. And, once again, it's being reported that Apple has to 'assist' Adobe on the Mac by opening APIs that other more capable developers do not seem to need.

I guess first you need to re-learn how to walk before you can run. I still DO NOT want Flash anywhere near iDevices that I will be supporting.

[From Apple Is The New China]

Apple's not winning because of anything superhuman or any RDF this time. They're winning because everyone else is sucking soooo bad in the mobile / device space. Even Microsoft is slooooowly getting with the program, figuring out the Cloud, and not tousling with the current market leader.

The other disingenuous thing in this article is Apple's purported conduct as a platform vendor. Other VERY successful companies like Sony and Nintendo exert this kind of control over their game platforms, and just will not allow application developers who are not up to snuff on the platform. How much crap is there in the Nintendo Wii Store? NONE. It's all good! Apple is behaving as any good platform vendor should.

When a platform vendor raises the bar, the only whingers are those who cannot reach that bar. Which is why Apple 'helping out' blustery little Adobe (1/3 market cap) comes off to your Uncle Drunky as either very generous, or very stupid (based on their previous conduct).

I warned Adobe that they should SHUT UP and get back to something that passes for work. As others have said.

But it's amusing to watch them disregard good advice, and abuse terms in describing Flash: Ubiquity (bullshit) and Platform (it's a plugin). Even Microsoft's folks are wise enough not to rub that old Windows rhubarb. If Apple is the new China, then Adobe is 'teh new suck.'

Adobe? Go ahead. Keep doin' what you do. I still have a lot of popcorn, and you're making quite the show.

-Drunky out.

PS. Imma let Mr Rixstep finish.

[Seems Adobe needs to edumacate their offshore peons. Start here!]

"Beginning Mac Programming: Develop with Objective-C and Cocoa (Pragmatic Programmers)" (Tim Isted)