Vivek Wadhwa wants his Clubkids to Fix Sacramento? Cute.

Ah, it looks like my little sahib is trying to talk up his clubkid protégés in TechCrunch, seeing as he needs a vacay from his Xenophobe/Cave schtick. Evidently, though, some folks took issue with his ‘We’ze from da bay area, we save you economy with our ‘For Lease’ signs mentality, aka ‘innovation’:

rainier seidel - January 26th, 2010 at 10:38 am PST
The professor remains clueless. Silicon Valley is about innovation. Government is about regulation. If the energies of innovators are wasted tilting at windmills, the economy is toast.

Evidently the professor does not leave his ivory tower often enough to understand what keeps the economy functioning.

[From Calling All Entrepreneurs: California Needs You]

Of course, before this comment was a storm of schticky elevator pitches from all the clubkids who thought their CRM system, twitter, web 2.0, Facebook or some other ‘rich application’ could save the State a couple million, that, of course, predictably these wannabes could then pocket themselves. Or offshore. Because the clubkids are like that, perish the thought that they’d do the work themselves.

Lemme tell all you sonnys something. Once you get out of the Bay Area California, especially CENTRAL California is a whole ‘nother world.

Sacramento, where you wanna go has been pumping raw sewage into the river headed to SF Bay for **150 years**. Oh sure, you saved a 2 inch fish and destroyed the local economy. But you been drinkin’ that water, obviously. Much to the bemusement of the locals ‘round heah. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

That’s what works for **central** California. You know, the rest of the State you hippies don’t even bother with unless you want something, or some non-native fish is dying.

As the commenter alluded to above, it’s all about behavior. CONSERVATIVE behavior. 20 years is a drop in the bucket, and many still remember Prop. 13. And now some uppity clubkids from Silicon Valley are gonna come and ‘fix’ the problem because some noveau ‘Scholar’ with a doctored resume posting on a site that was hacked *just the other night* says so. That’s really CUTE, my little sahib.

Uncle Drunky has a better idea. And a cheaper one that keeps the “ain’t broke, still works, paid for” system.

Because you see, I look at the behavior of bureaucrats around heah. Every single one of ‘em is diddling under their desks *doing something* other than work. I’m thinking they’re playing FourSquare, trying to be the mayor of the DMV or something.

In fact, in a number of offices I’ve heard that you have to chuck your cell into a basket before starting work. Why go thru all that hoo-haa?

So-

Easy Easy. Put up cell phone jamming devices in EVERY government office and facility. Including the prisons. Heck, I even saw on Al Gore’s clubkid network that cellphones are a problem in Avenal Penitentiary.. that would solve the problem there too. The guards don’t need to be playing Mafia Wars or chatting with their hookup on the clock anyway. Oh, and neither does that inmate with the iPhone up his butt.

So instead of a new Windows machine on every desk that requires new training, streaming Facebook, FourSquare and malware on the side to every government employee, I think it’s better to subtly remind them that they have a job. To do. For we the people. Without burdening them with any more systems that would worry their pretty little GI-xx heads about.

And if it takes are some strategically placed cell jammers at their place o’ work, so. be. it.

Simplicity, without disrupting established, paid for, working internal systems, that work at the speed of your average bureaucrat *anyway*.

Drunky out.